Case Studies

Supporting Positive Family Relationships

Ashley, Adam and Lily's story

Ashley’s partner is serving a prison sentence for a serious assault which Adam (14) and Lily (2) both saw. Ashley has been in several violent relationships and drinks quite heavily.
The family were referred to our Families Plus Hidden Harm service when social workers removed Lily from home and placed her temporarily with relatives because Ashley was too intoxicated to look after her. The social workers were also worried about Adam whose school attendance was only 40%; there was a strong chance he would be excluded from school; and he was getting into trouble with the police. The family had debts and were at risk of eviction.

When we first met her, Ashley was desperate to keep her family together. The family agreed to work on their problems intensively with our Hidden Harm workers. First we made a ‘safety plan’ with Ashley about what she would do instead when she felt the need to drink.
Next we talked with Ashley and Adam about what they felt was most important to them individually and for the family. That became the start of rebuilding communication and strengthening the relationship between mother and son.

Then we spent time with Adam allowing him to express his thoughts and feelings. It became clear he worried about his mother, her drinking and the domestic violence; and he missed school to look after her and Lily. His anti-social behaviour was an expression of the frustration he felt about his situation, unable to change his mother’s behaviour.
With Adam’s permission, we helped him explain the way he felt to Ashley. Until that point she had not realised how her drinking and lifestyle affected Adam. Later she admitted she had actually blocked it out, it being too painful to think about.

Through the frequent planned visits and also dropping in unexpectedly, we came to understand that when she was sober Ashley loved her children and was able to look after them properly. We spent time with Ashley working out what triggered her to want to drink; alternative ways of dealing with stress that would work for her; and putting her in touch with a support group.

Our intensive work with the family lasted 6 weeks. Ashley remained sober. Adam’s school attendance went from 40% to 80% and his behaviour in and out of school improved dramatically. Ashley now gets Lily up and dressed each morning and takes her to nursery. She cooks meals that are cheaper and healthier than the takeaways the family used to live on. We arranged an appointment for Ashley with the Citizen’s Advice Bureau, who helped her re-negotiate her debts and avoid eviction. More importantly, Adam no longer feels he has to be responsible for his mother; Ashley recognises the danger signs that trigger her drinking, but she has the tools and motivation to avoid it; Lily is safely looked after by her mother; and the social workers are no longer concerned about the family.

Jack and Thomas' story

Jack is 8 and Thomas is 6, they live with their Mum and go to the same primary school. Jack has autism and needs quite a lot of extra help in school. At home he can be hard to handle, especially for his Mum bringing up two children on her own.

Children who have autism get extremely anxious among lots of people; they like strict routines and calm because that makes them feel safe; in public, strangers may think they are badly behaved and blame the parent. Parents of autistic children sometimes blame themselves too. It is extra hard work being a parent to an autistic child; you need your rest, but unfortunately, children with autism often need less sleep compared to other children.

When Thomas started to copy some of Jack’s bad behaviour, the GP suggested getting in touch with Children North East Families Plus. Our worker visited and found out Jack’s Mum was worried there were no men in the boys lives either at home or in school and she thought that might be a bad thing.

Children North East Families Plus allocated a male volunteer to the family once a week. He spent time with Thomas taking him to the play park and to kick a ball about. Thomas soon stopped copying his brother and told his Mum and the volunteer ‘We don’t shout when we get cross like Jack does.’ Later the Mum and the volunteer organised family trips to the park. Mum could relax more knowing there was another pair of hands to help; and she and her boys were able to enjoy good times together.

Anne, Peter, Rebecca and Joel's story

Anne is 27, her partner Peter is 28 they have a new baby daughter Rebecca and a 2 year old son Joel. Anne and Peter had been heroin users who were now on methadone programmes but continued to use street drugs; Peter had also been known to drink heavily.

Anne and Joel used to go to the nearby Children's Centre, the staff there found out Anne was using street drugs while she was pregnant with Rebecca. They told the Children's Services social worker who then insisted Joel should go and live with Anne's parents for safety and told Anne that Rebecca would be taken away from her too unless she stopped using street drugs. Rebecca was born 8 weeks early. At the point when Children North East became involved she was in a Special Baby Care Unit; Anne was also staying in hospital and Peter was in prison having been convicted of theft. Just before Rebecca was born Anne had been served with an eviction notice following complaints by the neighbours about undesirable people turning up at Anne and Peter's house at all hours.

Talking to our family support worker Anne decided that things had reached a crisis point, she wanted her children back, she wanted to stop using drugs and she wanted an end to the way of life that went with that. Over the next 6 weeks our worker had 23 sessions with Anne, a total of 65 hours face to face contact. It became evident that Anne used drugs when she was stressed so she and the worker worked out what triggered stress for Anne, taught her relaxation techniques and used Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help her to sleep.

Together they planned other strategies too – Anne decided not to answer the door to unwelcome visitors and to avoid contact with people associated with drugs, in the medium term she planned to move. They planned her week and Anne kept a diary of her feelings and progress. After each session the worker wrote to Anne summarising what had been discussed, praising what was going well and noting what still needed to be addressed.

Anne had a sister she trusted whom she asked to support her to get Joel back from their parents. The worker taught Anne about baby brain development and child development so she understood what babies and children need to thrive. Together they established routines and worked on setting boundaries for Joel. Gradually Anne's confidence as a parent grew.

The worker put Anne in touch with a specialist NHS service for help out of hours with her substance misuse; and the Citizen's Advice Bureau advice about benefits, managing debt and the eviction notice. Through her sister Anne re-established trust with their parents; Anne also regained her trust in the Children's Centre where there was parenting support, a mother and baby group and a crèche where Joel could play with other children.

By the end of 6 weeks the children were at home in Anne's care and she had tested free from drugs for 6 weeks. The rent and arrears were being paid off and the neighbours had stopped complaining about visitors to Anne's house. The worker reduced contact on the understanding she would do some more intensive work with the whole family when Peter was released from prison.

Katy's story

Katy is 8; she was referred to us because she had been in school only 54% of the term. Her Mum said the problem was Katy wouldn't get up in the morning and could be very aggressive about it. It had been exactly the same with Katy's older brother and sister too. Mum asked for some help getting Katy up. Our family support worker agreed to come and see what happened in the morning then work out a plan with Katy and her Mum.

In the morning Mum told Katy to get up and get ready for school but did not follow on by reminding, or threatening consequences. A while later Katy did get up came downstairs and sat in front of the TV but didn't attempt to get dressed until her Mum shouted at her to hurry up or she would be late. At which point Katy started to shout back and threaten her Mum.

At the next meeting our worker discussed some 'family rules' and they agreed to a routine for school mornings – Mum would wake Katy and give her 10 minutes to get up, if she didn't she would then go into her room and take off the bed covers. Katy agreed she would not have the TV on until she was washed, dressed and had eaten her breakfast, which Mum would prepare for her. If she kept to the routine within the timescale then she could watch TV for 20 minutes before leaving for school.

Our worker agreed to be in the house for 3 mornings each week while they got the routine going and then walk Katy to school. On the other 2 days they would do it alone. They also decided to use a 'traffic light' system used in school to warn each other of angry feelings and prevent bad behaviour from getting out of hand.

As they began to get used to the routine the worker gradually reduced her morning visits, replacing them with telephone calls. It also became apparent that Mum felt pretty miserable and worthless which our family support worker was able to help with by putting her in touch with other local services. Eventually our worker withdrew her involvement completely by which time Katy's record of school attendance was very acceptable.

Raising the Aspirations of Children and Young People

Brandon's story

Brandon was 15 when he took part in a ‘Steps to Health’ course WEYES ran in his school. Brandon did not feel good about himself. School was not going well, he didn’t like the way it was run and felt unsupported by the teachers. In fact his behaviour was negative and challenging, frequently resulting in him being required to leave classes.

The informal, relaxed style in which the Steps to Health course is taught suited Brandon, and he worked well in the group. The course opened his eyes to how aspects of his general health and lifestyle were affecting his ability to cope with and bounce back from difficulties.

The course leader supported Brandon to identify strategies for when he needed time out from class and to deal with challenging conversations instead of losing his cool. The teaching staff were made aware of this and supported him too. Implementing the strategies helped him to feel more comfortable and confident.

As he gained more control, a WEYES mental health worker worked with Brandon to work out what triggered his anger and how that could effect his future chances in life. He got a lot out of these sessions and grew to understand much more about himself.

Brandon completed the Steps to Health course; he became a valued member of the group. His behaviour in school improved enormously and was recognised by the teachers. He also made a lot of positive changes to his lifestyle and is feeling much happier and confident with himself.

Rhys' story

Rhys was referred by his class teacher because he was quite unsettled in primary school, she thought he needed to feel more confident and learn how to make friends. Rhys often missed school so he found it hard to join in when he was in class. However he is an intelligent boy who was not meeting his full potential and he also suffered from bullying by other children.

Our Gateshead Supporting Children staff met his mother who described him as sensitive and loving but said he found it very difficult to make friends and keep them. She also said that he got very upset by comments made by others and took things very much to heart. 

Rhys really enjoyed being part of the Friendship Group which we ran all that term in school and attended every session. At the end of the group it was obvious that Rhys had benefited enormously because his school attendance had improved and there was a marked improvement in all other areas. In the final assessment his class teacher said: 

'Rhys has progressed tremendously in the last few months. His confidence and social skills have come on leaps and bounds and his academic achievement has reflected this.'

Jade's story

At the start of one of our BU programmes in a Gateshead high school one young woman, Jade, regularly disrupted the sessions by repeatedly saying it was boring, threatening to walk out and actually doing so which was similar to the way she behaved in school. Nevertheless she persevered and decided she needed to learn to control her temper. She said 'I wish I was sensitive, don't be harsh on people, think before I speak, to listen.'
 
Gradually Jade began to feel more at home in the group and demonstrated good creative arts skills. She helped other group members with techniques for relaxation and encouraged others to join the after school computer club with her. As a result of the course she has sought extra support from teaching staff at her school. At the end of the sessions she said, 'BU has helped me, controll my angrier on so many levals..... main thing I have learned is to stay carm [sic].'
 
We use the 'Goodman Strengths and Difficulties Questionnaire' to show how young people change during the BU course: 85% said they now feel more confident, 71% said they were better able to cope in new situations, 83% said they were more likely to attend local activity groups or clubs and 40% said they felt happier at school.
 
The Targeted Mental Health in Schools Co-ordinator for Gateshead said:
 
'Students have become confident individuals who are now able to express their views and opinions and have a greater understanding of themselves as people. The course has empowered them to identify parts of their life which they are happy with and those they would like to make positive steps towards changing.'

Encouraging Community Engagement

Julie and her children's story

Fleeing domestic violence, Julie and her three children moved into Hill Court homeless people's accommodation at 6.30pm on the Friday before Christmas with all their possessions in two carrier bags. Staff in our Out of School Club at Hill Court hastily got together toys, clothes and food for the family, enough to see them over the weekend. In the days leading up to Christmas staff organised 'family sessions' for the three children, who were all very sad, withdrawn and expressionless. It seemed important for the children's sake to have them all together rather than have them split between the Out of School Club and our crèche at Hill Court. This also gave Julie time to attend numerous meetings and to return to the family home supported by the police, to collect belongings.
 
Everyone was worried that Julie might go back home because she felt so guilty about the children spending Christmas away from their own house, their father and their extended family. From the Giving Tree appeal we provided Christmas presents for the children, a food hamper and even took the Christmas tree (that had been in reception at our Rye Hill office) complete with lights and decorations into the family's cramped flat on Christmas Eve to make it look and feel more festive for the children.
 
Julie and her children remained at Hill Court for nearly three months. During that time all the children made good use of the Out of School Club and the crèche, while Julie sought individual support from our staff. She found it beneficial to talk through what had happened to her and appreciated someone listening to her while she came to terms with it. Our services became part of the family's Child Protection Plan put together by the statutory services and social worker.
 
Gradually, the children began to feel more secure and started to join in and talk to staff and other children. As they became more confident the fear that we had observed in the early days diminished and there was much giggling and laughter.
 
After the family moved out of Hill Court our staff stayed in touch until the children were settled into new schools and Julie and the youngest were introduced to and using the local Children's Centre.
 
Today the children are no longer thought to be 'at risk'; the youngest child has started school and Julie is considering going back to college with the long term aim of having a career in childcare.

Celestyn and Ajar's story

Celestyn is Polish and Ajar is Kurdish. They were living in a 6th floor flat with their twins; neither had any relatives nearby and wanted to move. Ajar had a job but Celestyn was stuck in the house most of the time and struggling to cope with two demanding children, she was very down by the time the health visitor referred them to Children North East.
 
Our Family Support Worker agreed a plan of action with the family which included helping Celestyn get involved in local activities with the children while Ajar was at work; and helping both of them find out more about what was available in the local community.
 
The Family Support Worker walked around the area with Celestyn and introduced her to the Children's Centre where she signed up on the waiting list for baby activities and asked for advice about getting back into work. She continued to visit the flat every week gradually building up a relationship of trust with the family despite the language barrier.
 
The Family Support Worker also helped Celestyn and Ajar negotiate a move to more suitable accommodation; to register with a GP, dentist and the library, which had a toddler group and soft play.
 
Each week, while the Family Support Worker and Celestyn attended the play group with one or other twin leaving the other at home with Ajar, they discussed practicalities: how to manage going back to work, getting children to sleep through the night, child development and weaning. Celestyn started to feel more confident and happier as she was able to find a bit of 'me' time. In due course she progressed to taking both children to the library and Children's Centre.
 
When Celestyn was given an appointment about returning to work she felt she could manage working two days a week. The parents agreed Ajar would work three days and they would share childcare. The Family Support Worker helped the family prepare for this change by talking to them about the new routine, how they hoped it would work, and their hopes and fears for the family. Both were very keen to learn more about the British culture with their children. The Family Support Worker helped them select nursery rhyme books from the library and Children North East supplied tapes and other books for the parents to enjoy with the twins.
 
After two months the family and Family Support Worker reviewed progress. Not only did they feel more confident but able to continue to go out by themselves now they knew what was available in the area. Their children join in groups at the Children's Centre, library and soft play where they can mix with other children and adults. Celestyn started work and though she found it tiring she enjoyed expanding her English, adult conversation and work responsibility. Ajar was coping well and the children were adapting to being less dependant on their mum.